Dutifully, although with slight trepidation, I arrived, with a rather more colourful jacket and top hat in place of the more traditional evening wear. Old friends began to arrive, many of whom were mountain people, all of whom I had shared tents, boats, climbs and adventures with. In a field we changed into our finery and our adventure began.

Assembly of a small pile of equipment began, with people producing pans and stoves, candles and table cloths, boxes and bags, cutlery and crockery, folding chairs, plywood sheets and scaffolding. It was quickly divided up and disappeared into rucksacks.

Leaving the road we set of on our path. Despite the heavy, awkward loads the equipment presented, there was a sense of amusement and good humour as we took the steep path up towards the top of Tryfan. As the path gave way to scrambling the pieces of scaffolding were passed hand to hand up the rock steps and the people followed. Two hours hard work and we were on the summit.

Once there, the miracle began. The scaffolding and plywood became a table, complete with cloth, candlesticks and cruet set. Some laid it for our feast while other set to cooking the meal. Dressed as if for a country house, we dined on soup and goulash, bread and biscuits, cheese and fruit, and wine and port and watched the sun slowly set over the Irish Sea.

More photos here

-Elton John and Bernie Taupin

We all know it’s hard to say sorry. Even when we know we are wrong, or have wronged someone else, even when we know we should apologise, it can be the hardest thing in the world to do.

Maybe it’s the loss of face involved, the admission that we are failable. Maybe it’s the fact that we are making ourselves vulnerable to someone else, to scorn or ridicule. Even though we know that most apologies are accepted gracefully, we still have to find some inner strength to find the right words to say.

These Sorry Cards are designed to reduce the barriers to saying sorry. With groups of young people, I introduce them at the start of a course and let them know that they are available should the want them. If they need to apologies to someone they can come and get a card from me, no questions asked and give it to that person. If we have a base to work from I put them somewhere where they can help themselves.

By reducing the need to find the right words for the apology, and by turning it into a simple action, it reduces the feeling of exposing oneself to scorn, rejection or ridicule.

The have a number of different designs to let the giver chose a pattern they like, or think the receiver would like. You could of course create your own, or even get the group to create their own at the start of the course, in case they are needed.

Like all reviewing techniques it doesn’t work with every group, but if you have a fiery group where conflict is common, try it.

PDF: Sorry_Cards

Then one night the cloud disappeared and it was clear. No moon meant dark skies and the stars leapt out of the inky blackness. The Milky Way traversed from horizon to horizon.

Donning head torches, two friends and I walked up into the old quarries behind the village, built a fireplace from some pieces of slate and lit a fire. Under the stars we toasted marshmallows and put the world to rights. There was a cold wind but lots of layers and the fire kept us warm.

It was gone midnight when we picked our way through the slag heaps and back to our homes. Our eyes were red and our hair and clothes smelt of smoke but it didn’t matter, it was just nice to have been out doing something.

We are pleased to confirm that we will be holding our 3rd Invitation Day on January 9, 2010 at the Link Centre in West Swindon.

The aim is to enable people aged 14-19 to come along and try their hand at a free indoor rock climbing session, and to find out about our residential course, “Fire Me Up!”. There will be an opportunity to sign up for the next course on February 2010.

This will also include a presentation about Inner Flame and a chance to hear stories and experiences from previous participants from our past courses.

Numbers are strictly limited, so please contact us as soon as possible. To secure a place, you need to register by calling us on [redacted], or email me at info@innerflame.org.uk.

Thank you!

Inner Flame are a great charity (as well as being one of our clients). Their aim is

Their  “Fire Me Up!” course is a challenging residential experience for people aged 14-18. It’s about achieving success by:

• Making positive choices
• Taking action towards personal goals
• Building skills and self-confidence

Having met some of the course participants, I can say that they have an extraordinary amount of success.

From There’s Treasure Everywhere (Calvin and Hobbes) via Ivan Holroyd.

Tea still plays an enormous part in everyday British life, and nowhere more so than at work. Nowadays, other beverages are catching up fast. Coffee is the frequently offered alternative but the range of hot drinks available stretches from the sublime to the ridiculous. It doesn’t matter what you, the boss, or that odd lady who does the payroll drinks, as long as you drink something.

Leaving aside the health benefits of drinking tea (green, herbal, camomile or otherwise), or even of just drinking fluids, a cup of tea is an important psychological tool.

Chinese philosopher T’ien Yiheng said “Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world” and he makes a good point. Stuck trying to solve an intractable puzzle? Give yourself space, go and make a cup of tea. You won’t stop thinking about the problem, but you will break out of the knot you’ve formed in your head. Stuck doing a boring, repetitive task? Reward yourself with cups of tea at appropriate intervals, motivate yourself by thinking “After another 200 rows of customer records analysed, I’ll have a chai latte”.

Tea is also a fine relationship builder. Need to speak to someone about a sensitive issue? Invite them to make a cup of tea and join you somewhere private. Upset someone a few desks away? Make them a “Ginger and Gunpowder Zinger” and take one over as a peace offering. Use it to establish rapport and break the ice at meetings, everyone feels better chatting over a cup of tea.

Establish a community within your company using tea. Offer to ‘make the tea’ occasionally and use it as an excuse to chat to others at their desk. Include everyone nearby in your rounds, leaving someone out of a tea run is akin to being stood up on prom night. Encourage everyone, including the boss, to do a tea run. It takes ten minutes and leaves everyone in the office a little happier.

A tea bag costs about a penny, less in bulk. Even adding in milk, sugar (to taste) and the cost of heating the water, a cup of tea costs less than 3p. In a company of average tea drinkers (3 cups a day), that’s 45p per employee per week.

Is 45p a week worth it for a more relaxed, more motivated, more tactful, friendlier employee?

Photo from Ben Haldenby’s flickrstream under Creative Commons

“This is what I love about friendships, especially climbing ones. You never know where they might lead. One day someone’s a stranger, another they hold your life in their hands.”

Andy Kirkpatrick

Jeremy Renwick of Kubernetes then made the very good point that this game functions because “friendship is the exchange of  vulnerabilities“.

This had me thinking all the way home across the Wiltshire Downs. I have always been aware that friendships developed during climbing trips (or sailing, or kayaking) have a tendency to go from strangers to lifelong friends in very short periods. I knew that trust was an important part of this friendship and this statement sums it up perfectly for me.

When you hand the rope holding you to someone during climbing, you are about as vulnerable as you can be. Your life is literally in their hands. If those vulnerabilities aren’t exploited then you have formed a bond of trust that is as powerful as it is possible to be and a friendship normally follows.

I can see this phrase appearing in some of my courses from now on. I shall, of course, attribute it to Jeremy!