Inside Out

“Always seems to me, that ‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word….”

-Elton John and Bernie Taupin

We all know it’s hard to say sorry. Even when we know we are wrong, or have wronged someone else, even when we know we should apologise, it can be the hardest thing in the world to do.

Maybe it’s the loss of face involved, the admission that we are failable. Maybe it’s the fact that we are making ourselves vulnerable to someone else, to scorn or ridicule. Even though we know that most apologies are accepted gracefully, we still have to find some inner strength to find the right words to say.

These Sorry Cards are designed to reduce the barriers to saying sorry. With groups of young people, I introduce them at the start of a course and let them know that they are available should the want them. If they need to apologies to someone they can come and get a card from me, no questions asked and give it to that person. If we have a base to work from I put them somewhere where they can help themselves.

By reducing the need to find the right words for the apology, and by turning it into a simple action, it reduces the feeling of exposing oneself to scorn, rejection or ridicule.

The have a number of different designs to let the giver chose a pattern they like, or think the receiver would like. You could of course create your own, or even get the group to create their own at the start of the course, in case they are needed.

Like all reviewing techniques it doesn’t work with every group, but if you have a fiery group where conflict is common, try it.

PDF: Sorry_Cards

I leave my Twenties today. In a moment of reflection I decided to make a list of 20 things that I have achieved and I am proud of that took place in my twenties. They are in in no particular order.

1. Got a degree in Mechanical Engineering from Imperial College.
2. Got married to the lovely Ruth.
3. Started a company.
4. Led the first circumnavigation of the British Virgin Islands by Kayak.
5. Climbed Mt Gioberney.
6. Crossed the Andes on foot.
7. Run the Snowdon Horseshoe.
8. Come 15^th out of 900 in the Round the Island Race.
9. Got my ML, SPA, Level 2 Canoe and Level 3 Kayak.
10. Paddled a 32ft Waterfall in the Mexican Jungle
11. Helped grow a company.
12. Bought a house.
13. Visited the most Northerly, Southerly, Easterly and Westerly points of the UK.
14. Climbed the Old Man of Hoy.
15. Became an Accredited Practitioner of the IOL.
16. Thrown some awesome parties.
17. Changed some young peoples lives.
18. Been published in a Europe-wide magazine.
19. Read over 1000 books.
20. Passed my Driving Test.

I guess I’ll have to manage 30 things in the next 10 years.

I turn 30 this month.To mark the occasion, below is an open letter I wrote to my friends…

Dear All,

If you get this you have probably just turned thirty, or are about to in the next few months.

That means that it’s ten years since you turned twenty. Ten years ago the Euro was introduced, the Kosovo War started, Napster was invented, Lance Armstrong won his first of seven Tours de France and the ExxonMobil Corporation merger was completed, heralding the start of the age of super-corporations. Ten years ago, thirty looked a lifetime away.

Now it’s arrived. Read More »

Let My People Go Surfing
by Yvon Chouinard
The Penguin Press HC
ISBN 978-1594200724

The subtitle of this book is “The education of a reluctant business man” and Yvon Chouinard definitely falls into this category. He practices MBA, or Management by Absence which has meant that everyone in his company has to have a strong idea of what they are trying to achieve. It’s difficult to ask your boss for guidance when he’s halfway up a peak in the Himalaya.

The first half of the book deals with the history of Patagonia, from its start in the back of his truck through to being a multinational equipment and clothing manufacturer.

It should be a tale of how not to do it, with itinerant climbers promoted to senior managers and a staff that has permission to disappear when the surf gets big. However the tale reads as an adventure yarn, with a real feeling of teamwork, tolerance and ‘out-of-the-box’ thinking. Instead of despairing at the ineptitude of the participants, you realise that this may be an alternative way of doing business.

In the late 80s, Patagonia started struggling and Chouinard realised that they had overreached themselves. When he had to lay of 250 of his workers, he decided that he needed to clarify in his own mind why he was running a business. The book goes on to explain the “philosophies” that were created to guide the company onwards.

The philosophies are like a 50 page mission statement, split into categories like “Product Design” and “Environment” and are there to guide any member of the company in making the best decision for the company. While his goals won’t be applicable to anybody else’s company, the process of setting those goals will be. If you want to see how important the environment is to Patagonia, look at their philosophies. If you want to know how they expect their suppliers to be treated, looking at the philosophies.

Every business person who aspires to create, run or work in a business that isn’t a nine-to-five, cubicle farm, sweatshop should read this book.

Links to buy: Patagonia and amazon.co.uk

Takes 20-30 minutes

Resources

A set of poker chips. 200 in four colours works fine, the less you have in more limited colours, the harder the task will be.

Instructions For Tutor

Give the group a box of poker chips. Tell them

“You have 20 minutes to create a means of transferring a message from one half of the group to the other using only the chips placed on the table.

No paper or pencils are permitted.

After 20 minutes I will split the group in two and half of you will be asked to leave the room. I will give the remaining participants a 20-30 letter message that may involve letters or numbers but no punctuation, which you must pass to the other group using only the poker chips”

Facilitate the creation of the code. This is where the bulk of the team dynamics and personal development takes place as the participants try to refine their aim, then develop the code and finally to ensure that everyoe understands the code.

Use whatever means you like to capture this discussion, we have successfully used video, notes, phrases used jotted on a blackboard and having observers taken from within the group.

When they have a code, split the group into two and send half out of the room. Give the other half a short (20-30 letter) message on a piece of paper and help them encode it.

The messages are best if they have several words, and aren’t too easy to guess once you have 2-3 of the words. We’ve used short Shakespeare quotes and the names of the building we are in.

Invite the other half back in to decode it and ensure that there is no  cheating.

Swap the two halves of the group over and try with a different message.

Using it elsewhere

We have used variants of this task in a number of places.

• On a beach with different coloured stones.
• In a forest using sticks.
• On a draughts (checkers) board using the pieces.
• In a park using “whatever you can find”.
• In a mountain campsite using “the contents of your rucksack”.

Doing it outside makes it a much more physical, tactile task and adds whole new areas of discussion such as role allocation “You go and collect black stones” or even “What shall we use?”.

We’ve just spent the weekend surfing at Saunton in North Devon. Blue skies and clean waves were conspicuously absent but we did have a lot of fun. I’ve never been board surfing before and I’ve got a new found respect for those who make it look so effortless and easy.

Returning home on Sunday night I realised I was covered in bruises. There is the one on my back from falling off the board into 4 inches of water after I misjudged how far ashore I had come.  I’ve got one around my left ankle where my leash pulled tight after I let go of my board while wading out. The one on my chin is the most visible, caused by throwing myself forward onto my board with a little too much vigour.

They might make me a little bit sore but I am proud of my bruises. Really proud. They are like little campaign medals and, to me they represent two things. Read More »

After our last Anything Can Happen course we asked Mark, one of the participants, to write about his experience on the course. Anything Could Happen is such an unusual course with such a different methodology that it can be difficult for people to see what it’s all about. We hoped that by getting one of the participants to tell their story, it might help others to see what they might get out of it.

He did a fantastic job of describing his experiences, which we’ve presented below. There is also a PDF available for download if you want to print it out and give it to someone who would be interested.

Read More »